The cake has been cut, the dance floor has cleared, and you are officially married. Now comes the one task that looms over every newlywed couple: The Thank You Notes.
It is the last part of wedding etiquette, and it can be the hardest. As one of Houston’s top venues for weddings and events, Pelazzio sees a lot of love (and gifts!) come into our ballrooms every year. We understand that writing 150 cards after months of planning seems like a lot of work. But it’s the most important way to show respect to the people who came to celebrate your milestone.
TL;DR
You have to send thank-you notes. They should be written by hand and sent within three months of the wedding. Be specific when writing a thank-you note: say what the gift is and how you plan to use it. If you got cash, don’t say how much it was, but do say what you want to buy or save for. Being organized is important. Use the wedding gift list we keep at the gift table to make sure no one is left out.
1. The Golden Rule of Timing: When to Send
There is a common myth that you have a full year to send thank-you notes. In modern etiquette, that is simply too long.
- The Standard: Aim to mail your notes within three months of the wedding.
- Early Arrivals: For gifts received before the wedding (at showers or sent to your home), try to send a note within two weeks of opening it. This saves you from a massive backlog later.
- Better Late Than Never: If you miss the three-month mark, do not let guilt stop you. Sending a late note is infinitely better than sending no note at all.
2. The Formula: What to Actually Write
You don’t need to write a novel. A sincere, structured 3-4 sentence message is perfect.
- The Salutation: Always greet them by name.
- The “Thank You”: Mention the specific gift. Avoid generic phrases like “thanks for the gift.” Say “Thank you for the beautiful crystal vase.”
- The Usage: Tell them how you will use it or where it will sit in your home. “It looks perfect on our dining table.”
- The Connection: Mention seeing them. “It meant the world to have you there to celebrate with us.”
- The Sign-Off: “With love,” or “Sincerely,” followed by your names.
3. Etiquette 101: Handwritten vs. Digital
In an age of texts and emails, a wedding thank-you note is one of the few things that must be handwritten.
- Why? It shows you took the time to sit down and appreciate their gesture personally. A pre-printed card or an email feels transactional.
- Stationery: Many couples order thank-you cards that match their wedding invitations. If you haven’t ordered them yet, a simple card with a photo from your wedding is a beautiful touch.
4. Templates & Examples for Every Scenario
For a Physical Gift: “Dear Aunt Sarah, Thank you so much for the KitchenAid mixer. We have already used it to make our favorite cookies, and it looks beautiful on our counter. It was so wonderful to see you and catch up at the reception. We love you! Best, [Names]”
For a Guest Who Attended But Didn’t Bring a Gift: “Dear Mark, Thank you so much for coming to our wedding. It meant so much to us to have you there to celebrate our special day. We hope you had as much fun on the dance floor as we did! Best, [Names]”
For a Vendor: (Yes, thanking your vendors is a classy move!) “Dear [Vendor Name], Thank you for making our day so special. Your hard work made everything run seamlessly, and we couldn’t have done it without you.”
5. Handling Cash Funds & Group Gifts
This is where many couples get stuck.
- For Cash/Checks: Never mention the specific dollar amount. Instead, focus on how it helps your future.
- Example: “Thank you for your incredibly generous gift. We are putting it directly toward the down payment on our first home, and we are so grateful for your support.”
- For Group Gifts: If a group of 5 friends chipped in for a large item, send an individual note to each person, thanking them for their contribution to the specific gift.
6. Pelazzio’s Tip: Organizing on the Big Day
The success of your thank-you notes starts at the reception. You cannot thank people if you don’t know who gave what.
At Pelazzio, our packages (both Paradise and Rental) include designated Gift and Registration tables fully set up in the foyer. We also provide a secure space for cards.
Pro-Tip: Assign a member of your bridal party or a trusted family member to be the “Gift Captain.” Their job is to:
- Ensure cards are securely placed in the box.
- If a physical gift arrives without a card attached securely, tape a small note to it immediately indicating who brought it.
- Pack up the cards and gifts at the end of the night (our staff handles the heavy cleanup, but personal items are the client’s responsibility ).
A perfect wedding ends with gratitude. Contact Pelazzio today to plan a celebration that your guests and you will cherish forever.
