TL;DR
- Keep it short: Aim for 3-5 minutes. That’s it.
- Have a clear structure: 1. Intro. 2. Thank yous. 3. Story about the groom. 4. Welcome the new spouse. 5. Toast.
- Avoid all “danger topics”: Absolutely no mention of exes, bachelor parties, or genuinely embarrassing stories.
Practice, practice, practice: Read it aloud, time yourself, and use notecards (not your phone).
Being asked to be the best man is one of the highest honors a friend can bestow. It’s a sign of trust, love, and brotherhood. Then, almost immediately, the panic sets in: “I have to give a speech.”
As event professionals at Pelazzio, we host nearly 400 events a year, the vast majority of which are weddings. We have seen hundreds of best man speeches, the beautiful, the hilarious, and the ones that made everyone cringe.
1. Your Real Purpose: Knowing What You Want
You need to know what your job is before you write anything.
You aren’t there to:
- Do a roast for 10 minutes.
- Tell a series of jokes that only the groom will get.
- Show that you’ve been his friend the longest.
Your real goal is simple and has three parts:
- Respect your friend (the groom).
- Welcome his new wife into the family and with friends.
- Tell the guests why these two are a perfect match and why everyone should be happy for them.
That’s all. It’s a speech of love, support, and celebration.
2. Part 1: The 5-Step Structure for Writing the Best Speech
Don’t try to make something new. A simple, classic structure always works.
Step 1: The Opener and the Beginning
Start with self-assurance. Tell the couple who you are and how you know them.
“Good evening, everyone. If you don’t know me, I’m [Your Name], the groom’s brother or best friend.
It’s permitted to make a light, funny joke here, but it’s not necessary.
Step 2: The Thanks
Say thank you to the hosts, who are usually the parents.
Thank the guests for being there.
“I want to start by thanking [Parents’ Names] for throwing this wonderful party.” And thank you all for coming to celebrate [Groom] and [Spouse].
Step 3: The Story (About the Bride)
This is the main point of your speech. Tell one short, positive story about the groom that shows what he’s like.
Don’t tell a story about how crazy he was.
Please tell a story that shows what kind of person he is, like how loyal, kind, funny, or generous he is.
For example, “I’ve known [Groom] for 20 years, and I’ve always known he’s the most loyal friend anyone could ask for.” I remember this one time…
Step 4: The Pivot (Welcoming the Spouse)
This is the most important change. Make a connection between your story about the groom and his new wife.
Talk about the first time you saw them together. What did they do to make your friend better?
Talk to the new spouse directly. Say hello to them. Say something nice and flattering about them.
For example, “And [Groom], I thought you were a great man… until I saw you with [Spouse]. It’s amazing to see how much joy and light you’ve brought into his life. We are very happy to officially welcome you into our family.
Step 5: The End and the Toast
Finish with a last piece of advice or a warm wish for their future.
This is the big finish. Stick with the classics.
“I would like everyone to please stand and raise their glasses with me.” To the couple who just got married! May your life together be as happy, loving, and funny as the lives of everyone else you’ve made happy. “Cheers!
3. The “Do Not” List (Our Most Important Advice)
Based on our professional experience, these are the traps you should stay away from. Believe us on this.
Don’t talk about your ex-girlfriends or past relationships. Always.
Don’t tell “you had to be there” jokes. People in the audience will feel uncomfortable and left out.
Don’t say anything about the bachelor party.
Don’t tell stories that are really embarrassing, mean, or humiliating. This isn’t a roast. There are grandparents there.
Do not use bad language.
Don’t say anything about how he “used to be” (crazy, a partier, a mess). Think about the man he is now.
Don’t go over five minutes. You’re the only one having fun after five minutes.
Don’t read your speech from your phone. It looks like you don’t care. Put it on notecards or write it down.
Don’t say, “I’m not a public speaker.” The audience already knows. Just provide the speech.
4. Part 3: The Delivery (How to Act Like a Pro)
How you say something is just as important as what you say.
Get better. Then do it again.
Say your speech out loud in front of a mirror.
Set a timer to make sure you don’t take more than 5 minutes.
Practice your speech with a trusted friend or partner who will provide honest feedback.
Don’t use a script; use notecards.
Please draft your speech in full and then condense it into bullet points on a few notecards.
This makes you talk to the audience instead of reading to them.
Put numbers on the cards so you don’t lose them.
Take care of your nerves (and drinks).
It’s normal to be nervous! It shows you care.
This tip is very important: Before the speech, only have one drink. There is no such thing as liquid courage. We’ve seen liquid sloppiness ruin the moment.
Talk slowly, even slower than you think you need to.
When you reach the punchline, stop and let the crowd laugh.
Make sure to maintain eye contact with the person you are speaking to.
Don’t just look at your cards or the groom.
Maintain eye contact with the couple.
Look around the room and make sure you make eye contact with the guests. It makes them feel like they are part of something.
5. The Last Toast: Sticking the Landing
The speech from the best man is a gift. It’s your final duty in a long line of them, and it’s your chance to put a beautiful button on your friend’s big day. If you speak sincerely, positively, and about the couple, they’ll be proud they chose you.
Our all-inclusive wedding packages at Pelazzio take care of everything, from the food to the decorations. This gives the wedding party more time to focus on what really matters, like writing the perfect speech.
Are you getting married in Houston? Call our team today to find out more about our stress-free packages and to set up a tour.
